Saturday, February 09, 2008

......

eyes closed
sinking
into an endless abyss
the city screams
but behind the wall ... its a deathly silence
so far behind the wall now
every night ..
every joy .. every pain ..
every faith .. every doubt ..
every image .. every echo ..
every friend .. every foe ..
every hope ..
every hope ..
outside.
inside,
silence
and the wait
for one simple sweet release

dying a thousand deaths each night
still awaiting release ...

Thursday, January 03, 2008

bavra mann ...

" sun in the earth .. sunflower
bird in the air .. rain
i within i .. daybreak

streets we have never walked on
windows we have never opened
hands we have never held
dreams we shall never never see again ...

sun in the earth .. sunflower
bird in the air .. rain
i within i .. daybreak

lives we have never lived
hopes we have never realised
fires we have never lit
loves we shall never never make again ...

sun in the earth .. sunflower
bird in the air .. rain
i within i .. daybreak

i hear those strange whispers again ... "

Sunday, April 22, 2007

katra katra milti hai , katra katra jeene do ,
zindagi hai .. behne do ...
pyaasi hoon main , pyaasi rehne do ....

Have u ever kissed the rain ?
held it in ur arms, moment by moment, drop by drop..
drenched urself - heart, body and soul ?
felt the pinch yet loved the feel ?
Have u ever opened ur eyes against the shower to look across at those eyes ?
those eyes tht can say so much without a word ?
Have u ever kissed in the rain , drenched to the soul and basking in the sunshine of those eyes ?
i have.

kal bhi to kuch aisa hi hua tha ,
neend mein thi tumne jab chhua tha..
girte girte baahon mein bachi main,
sapne pe paanv pad gaya tha..
sapno mein behne do ..
pyaasi hoon main, pyaasi rehne do ...

Ever opened ur eyes in the morning, smiling to the smell of a new day ?
Fresh from a wash of a lovely dream , still wet with the world full of possibilities ?
To a day pregnant with ur dreams , with the power to make them all come true ?
Have u ever smiled and turned over to that sleeping face over the pillow ?
Deep in sleep, hair all tousled ... deaf to the morning birds and sun ...
Oblivious to all the world, and to u, n yet with one arm wrapped tightly around ?
Have u ever felt like the whole day n ur whole life can wait ...
like u woke up from one lovely dream .. into the next ?
i have.

Tumne to aakash bichhaaya,
mere nange pairon mein zameen hai..
kaante bhi tumhaari aarzoo the,
shayad aise zindagi haseen hain..
aarzoo mein behne do...
pyaasi hoon mein, pyaasi rehne do ...

Have u ever looked for shapes in clouds ?
Dragons and dogs and ships and fairies ...
Been delighted as u spot a bunny - fluffy ears and bunny teeth ..
Excited as u hear a cry of joy beside u, and a finger pointing at the same cloud ?
smiled as u thought how u both caught the same thing .. and u both say -
Do you see that - " cute bunny ? " " amazing skull ? "
Have u ever felt like u cud hear that laugh for the rest of ur life ?
Have u ever looked on a view so different, n yet felt ur own was incomplete without it ?
i have.

halke halke kohre ke dhuein mein,
shayad aasmaan tak aa gayi hoon ..
tere do nigaahon ke sahare,
dekho to kahaan tak aa gayi hoon..
kohre mein behne do..
pyaasi hoon main, pyaasi rehne do ..

Have u ever walked down a misty lane on a cold winter night ?
Chilled to the bone, shivers down ur spine .. making ur way thru foggy ghosts of dim lights ?
Ever laid ur dew-dropped head against the rhythm of a warm beating heart ?
and felt moist breath on ur numb ear ?
To be flooded with the warmth of three simple words ...
Have u ever experienced victory in complete unconditional surrender ?
i have.

Have u ever been so happy u cud cry ?
i have.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

An Ovation ....

Twas but half a decade ago ... that the Prelude began ....

8 different strains of laughter ... a perfect,if somewhat untuned, Octave .
each unique ... in its own Scale ...
each beautiful ... in its own Key ...
each hopeful ... of its own Concerto ...
each curious ... of every other new Note ...
each friendly ... to the idea of a Fusion ...
each eager ... with its own vision of a
Grandioso ...
each patient ... of a slight Dissonance ...
each cheery ... when the other hit a low Beat ...
each merry ... in every Interlude ...
each made complete ... when in Resonance ...
none a Maestro ... but together dreaming of being one ...

Twas almost half a decade ago ...
is it time already for the Reprise ?
What began with a single chord ... to become a perfect Rhythm ...
a Falsetto every now and then ... at times more jarring than others .
but wasn't it beautiful Music that we produced ?
And now the grand Finale ... is almost past .

Is this a Requiem ?
No ...
just a simple ovation to those 8 brave Chords .
that dared to dream ... that still dares to dream ...
of future Solos ... of Beauty ... of Hope .
just a heartfelt salute to those 7 others ...
that made this lone Chord ... dance to the tune of a wonderful Harmony ...


Thank you, dear Wing .

Saturday, October 07, 2006

The Moon's bleeding .

i peer around ... and i can see faces ...
i concentrate ... and i can hear voices ...
nothing makes sense.
i zone out ...
into a land all my own .

wat do i see?
fresh green Grass ...
blades shy .. of the first touch of dew.
misty chilly Air ...
smug gleeful ... guarding the secret of oncoming winter.
silver shimmering Lake ...
deep silent ... yet giggling a thousand ripples with one poke.

an Hourglass turning over.

Curious Wondering Eyes ...
Beautiful Untouched ... cackling with the Innocence of childhood.
breathing in the Free world .
peering deep beyond the surface ...
blissful delight ...
at the image shimmering on the surface ...
the Moon ...
little Hands reaching out ...
to stake claim ...
on the silver prize... the elusive reflection ...
the shining Moonbeam ...
slinking away on the water...

the Sand slipping through .

triumphant little Hands touching it ,
and crying out ...
with pain .
Curious Wondering ..n now .. Fearful Eyes look up ..
to see the Moon ...
Bleeding .

"The Moon's bleeding".
faces turn .
voices stop .

i am at dinner with friends .

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

y ?

y is suicide illegal ??
its like saying "hey man .. u've fucked up n thts probably y u want to end it all .. but god forbid , shud u fail .. v r alwez there .. to make u regret it .. not the act itself .. but tht it wasnt foolproof enuff ! "

dont get me wrong .. i m not the suicidal type .. (this n the last post aside :D) in fact i have nothing but the deepest of contempt for ne chap who thinks his own life is not worth living just coz of sum prob which is probably not worth thinking twice about ...my views on this are ,regrettably,rather dichotomous ..(wht if u r hopelessly bored with it all? wht if nothing seems worth the trouble? wht if the meaninglessness of it all seems too much to bear? i seem to find it more pardonable in this case than i do when it is just a form of escapism ... but then this too is escapism, albeit from mind-numbing boredom n stagnation!!! ) But overall , i like living .. (by my own standards of wht i call living ) ... i like to think therez lotz left for me to learn n see (n probably hate).... n ceasing to exist does seem a rather sad choice to make ....

But all tht is besides the point ... y is it by law illegal ??
A man doesn't get to choose whr he is born , into wht age , in wht circumstances , in which stage of human evolution ..
more often than not his life is a series of incidental happenings bound together by "fate" over which he has limited control , if any ... his life being entwined with a million others ... through layer after layer of mostly meaningless interactions ...
if there is any real power of choice he has ... it is to say "well , i've had enuff " .
so then y , in anybody's name , y take tht away from him ???

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


so this is wht it felt like ?
life ebbing away ...
slowly.. taking its own sweet time
she looked down at herself...
bleeding ... weak ... alone ..
oh well ...
it was probably for the best ..
the cold hard floor against her back ...
the warmth of her own blood
a gentle melody filled her ears ...
she smiled weakly ..
there was as yet no tunnel or a light ..
those fibbers .. with their promise of heaven ..
and their threat of hell ..
wudnt it be fun??
coming back n telling them to their face ..
tht they were bloody wrong ..
with all their codes .. of morally right and wrong ..
just like she alwez knew they were ..
but tht wasnt the point ..
or was it ?
her head was swimming ..
her eyelids felt like lead ..
the music seemed louder ...
wht was the point?
it had something to do with her life ....
she had to remember ...
her life ....
she was on the floor ..
mom dad ??
she smiled .. they loved her ..
so much .. it hurt ...
no.. tht wasnt the point ...
a gaping wound bleeding ...
the purposelessness of it all ??
no ... it was all meaningless .. she'd alwez felt tht ..
tht wasnt the point either ...
the ceiling was beginning to spin ...
the music shrill ...
the disgust ??
the ennui ??
the hopelessness ??
the anger ??
the helplessness ??
where did her triumph lie ??
her world was closing in on her ..
the crescendo reached ...
where did her triumph lie ??
she unclenched her fists ...
n that was it ...
liberated ... free ...
achieving in death wht in life she cud only dream of ...
the freedom ... to choose ..
let them say its wrong ...
let them say its sinful..
she was wht she was ... now ..
free from judgement .. of wht she chose..
forcing acceptance .. of wht she was ...
she chose ...
the clink of a blade ...
and all was still .