The Moon's bleeding .

i peer around ... and i can see faces ...
i concentrate ... and i can hear voices ...
nothing makes sense.
i zone out ...
into a land all my own .

wat do i see?
fresh green Grass ...
blades shy .. of the first touch of dew.
misty chilly Air ...
smug gleeful ... guarding the secret of oncoming winter.
silver shimmering Lake ...
deep silent ... yet giggling a thousand ripples with one poke.

an Hourglass turning over.

Curious Wondering Eyes ...
Beautiful Untouched ... cackling with the Innocence of childhood.
breathing in the Free world .
peering deep beyond the surface ...
blissful delight ...
at the image shimmering on the surface ...
the Moon ...
little Hands reaching out ...
to stake claim ...
on the silver prize... the elusive reflection ...
the shining Moonbeam ...
slinking away on the water...

the Sand slipping through .

triumphant little Hands touching it ,
and crying out ...
with pain .
Curious Wondering ..n now .. Fearful Eyes look up ..
to see the Moon ...
Bleeding .

"The Moon's bleeding".
faces turn .
voices stop .

i am at dinner with friends .

y ?

y is suicide illegal ??
its like saying "hey man .. u've fucked up n thts probably y u want to end it all .. but god forbid , shud u fail .. v r alwez there .. to make u regret it .. not the act itself .. but tht it wasnt foolproof enuff ! "

dont get me wrong .. i m not the suicidal type .. (this n the last post aside :D) in fact i have nothing but the deepest of contempt for ne chap who thinks his own life is not worth living just coz of sum prob which is probably not worth thinking twice about ...my views on this are ,regrettably,rather dichotomous ..(wht if u r hopelessly bored with it all? wht if nothing seems worth the trouble? wht if the meaninglessness of it all seems too much to bear? i seem to find it more pardonable in this case than i do when it is just a form of escapism ... but then this too is escapism, albeit from mind-numbing boredom n stagnation!!! ) But overall , i like living .. (by my own standards of wht i call living ) ... i like to think therez lotz left for me to learn n see (n probably hate).... n ceasing to exist does seem a rather sad choice to make ....

But all tht is besides the point ... y is it by law illegal ??
A man doesn't get to choose whr he is born , into wht age , in wht circumstances , in which stage of human evolution ..
more often than not his life is a series of incidental happenings bound together by "fate" over which he has limited control , if any ... his life being entwined with a million others ... through layer after layer of mostly meaningless interactions ...
if there is any real power of choice he has ... it is to say "well , i've had enuff " .
so then y , in anybody's name , y take tht away from him ???

so this is wht it felt like ?
life ebbing away ...
slowly.. taking its own sweet time
she looked down at herself...
bleeding ... weak ... alone ..
oh well ...
it was probably for the best ..
the cold hard floor against her back ...
the warmth of her own blood
a gentle melody filled her ears ...
she smiled weakly ..
there was as yet no tunnel or a light ..
those fibbers .. with their promise of heaven ..
and their threat of hell ..
wudnt it be fun??
coming back n telling them to their face ..
tht they were bloody wrong ..
with all their codes .. of morally right and wrong ..
just like she alwez knew they were ..
but tht wasnt the point ..
or was it ?
her head was swimming ..
her eyelids felt like lead ..
the music seemed louder ...
wht was the point?
it had something to do with her life ....
she had to remember ...
her life ....
she was on the floor ..
mom dad ??
she smiled .. they loved her ..
so much .. it hurt ...
no.. tht wasnt the point ...
a gaping wound bleeding ...
the purposelessness of it all ??
no ... it was all meaningless .. she'd alwez felt tht ..
tht wasnt the point either ...
the ceiling was beginning to spin ...
the music shrill ...
the disgust ??
the ennui ??
the hopelessness ??
the anger ??
the helplessness ??
where did her triumph lie ??
her world was closing in on her ..
the crescendo reached ...
where did her triumph lie ??
she unclenched her fists ...
n that was it ...
liberated ... free ...
achieving in death wht in life she cud only dream of ...
the freedom ... to choose ..
let them say its wrong ...
let them say its sinful..
she was wht she was ... now ..
free from judgement .. of wht she chose..
forcing acceptance .. of wht she was ...
she chose ...
the clink of a blade ...
and all was still .

An incredible amount of time to kill .....

An incredible amount of time ... n how i wasted it !!!
But it was kinda fun :-D

Ladka ki ladki ?? -------- 54% feminine n 46% masculine !!!!!!

You are in touch with both your feminine and masculine sides.You're sensitive at the right times, but you don't let your emotions overwhelm you.You're not a eunuch, just the best of both genders.

Are You Masculine or Feminine?

he he he !!


i am sick of being told this one : You may be a BIT Borderline !! (me: a bit ???)

Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame!When you're up, you're a little bit crazy...And when you're down, your whole world is crashingScary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!

What Personality Disorder Are You?

i m normal :D --------- You are 60% weird !!! (me : thank u thank u *blush*!! )

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

so tell me something i dont know !!! --- Your true love is a scorpio ( me : yeahhh ... )

Why you'll love a Scorpio: Strong and sexy, Scorpio will overpower you into falling in love (before you even realize it!).You'll love being swept away by Scorpio - into a world of insane passion. Why a Scorpio will love you: You don't mind letting your Scorpio take the reigns, as long as you know you're truly cared for.Loyal and devoted, you would never do anything to set off insanely jealous Scorpio.

What Sign Is Your True Love?

I have alwez wanted to -------- You should learn French !!!

C'est super! You appreciate the finer things in life... wine, art, cheese, love affairs.You are definitely a Parisian at heart. You just need your tongue to catch up...

What Language Should You Learn?

almost right ----------------- You are an atheist .

When it comes to religion, you're a non-believer (simple as that).You prefer to think about what's known and proven.You don't need religion to solve life's problems.Instead, you tend to work things out with logic and philosophy.

What's" Your Religious Philosophy?