Thank you...

i saw the night sky .
i saw stars , twinkling with the glee of a million happy secrets.
winking back at you from the depths of space.
i saw beauty , calm , eternity.
i see the night sky .
Void . Empty. Relentless.Unending.
I understand .

i felt the rain .
lively droplets pinching my face
soaked in the joy of blessed showers
bringing to life every inch of my being
i feel the rain.
sharp droplets beating against me
drenched in the pain of a million tears
yet evoking not one from me .
i understand.

changing reality ?
or a different mirror of perception?
the birth of new evils ?
or a rude awakening to existing ones?
a child-like denial of things vile ?
or is this wht they call growing up ?

is this wht it feels like ?
an ice cold shell around my heart

Seeing . Hearing . Touching .
Breathing.
Not alive .

Indifferent . Cold. Numb.
Unfeeling.
Not dead.

Trudging along with leaden steps
watching with cold disdain as they all fall
one by one - on their knees
crawling and grovelling in the slime
their filthy hands reaching out for me
determined to bring me down too

i look. Cold hatred in every fibre .
i see. Chilling fear down my spine.
was this going to be my end ?

A gentle pressure on my hand
and something inside melts away.
i turn to look up into ur eyes
and they speak down to me
they tell me of joys , of pain,
of a million trials , all in vain
of a spirit emerged , unbroken , strong
of a resolve to see me thru this pain.
U answer my questions unasked
and smile away my fears
while ur lips whisper in my ear
it's just the other side .
the Dirt , the Filth was alwez thr
its just ur choice to make.

I look up again
i see the night sky .
Black . Void . With a million stars.
You close my eyes.
i feel the rain against my face
drenched in joy and pain.
You kiss my lips.
an ice cold shell melts .
i can feel again.

Alive again.

You say ur catcher failed u ...
i m glad mine didn't.